Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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