it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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