And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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