Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
