I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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