I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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