Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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