I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
