sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
