How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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