All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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