why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
