why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
