great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
