the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
