My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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