I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
