bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
