I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
