In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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