if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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