I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
