I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
