I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
