For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
