dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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