You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
