I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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