Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
