You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
