woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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