...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
