but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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