you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
