Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
