and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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