Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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