Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
