i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
