1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
