i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am full of burrito and curiosity
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
