I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
