winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
