just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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