Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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