how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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