I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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