The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Duck Duck Cougar?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
