Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
nutella sex= disaster
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
