If i come over, it means nothing
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Randomize
